Judge Sasuke oneshot 1: Shemale or not!
by Aldamonburst
Summary: A court must decide, is Naruto male, or shemale! Sasuke, Sakura, and many other must decide. But only thing could interfere with this, the fact they all lost their minds!


**Burst: Hello everyone! This is both my first Naruto Fanfic and my first one shot. I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to review!**

**Shemale or not! A Random Naruto Oneshot!**

_In a world where injustice and weird and disturbing situations appear, only one man is cool enough can solve it all. Judge Sasuke!_

Sasuke, in a light brown robe, slams his gavel down. "Order in the court! Bailiff, the case." The bailiff, AKA Orochimaru, speaks. "As you wish Sasuke boy. Most courts just focus on crimes,

but here we also solve the problems and mysteries of the Ninja world. This case, after the constant use off both Sexy and Harem Ninjutsu, we plan to solve whether little Naruto is a male,

or Shemale!"

"Bailiff continue." Sasuke ordered. "Ok Sasuke boy. Trying to prove Naruto is indeed Shemale, Sakura Haruno!" Sakura, for reasons obvious, is wearing a crimson colored dress. "I love

you Sasuke! Naruto is going down!" Everyone stares at her for a second, and then Orochimaru cleared his throat. "That was disturbing. And not in a good way. Now, proving he's not a Shemale, Naruto Uzimaki!" "You actually think, even a little bit, that because of my Ninjutsu I'm both a boy and girl?! You people are psychotic!" Naruto tries to throw a paper bomb at

Sasuke, but Gaara take's it from him with a hand created from sand. "Hello everyone. I'm Naruto's lawyer, Gaara, the Kazekage of the Hidden Sand Village." Sasuke slam's his gavel again.

"Now let this trial begin!"

_Sakura's First witness: Konohamaru, a boy who learned much from, and idolizes, Naruto. _

Sakura turns to Konohamaru. "Is it true Naruto taught you his perverted Ninjutsu?" He nodded. "Now, how does he act when he uses his Ninjutsu?" Konohamaru smiled evilly. "Oh that's

easy. I'll show you! Ninja art, Sexy jutsu! Black haired style!" A puff of smoke enveloped Konohamaru, and soon disappeared after. Konohamaru turned into a beautiful, black haired, nude

girl! Though smoke still covered the breasts and "other areas", he still disturbed nearly everyone in the courtroom, NEARLY.

_Jury: In the Jury was Tsunade, Sarutobi (3__rd__ Hokage), Kakashi, Temari, Kankuro, and let's not forget pervy sensei himself, Jiraiya. _Tsunade glared at the perverted old man. "You better not be

thinking what I think you are." But Jiraiya diffidently was. He jumped, dodged a super powered punch, and in mid air used a transformation jutsu, landing in front of Kono-girl. Jiraiya turned

transformed into a photographer from a French modeling company! He put out his camera and to Kono-girl. "Show me fabulous! Pose baby, pose!" Kono-girl did all sorts of poses, and

Jiraiya took pictures, neither of them noticing Sasuke was doing hand signs. "Fire style! Dragon flame jutsu!" Sasuke blasted fire from his mouth at Kono-girl and the Pervy Sage, scorching

them both. Orochimaru dragged the both of them out of the courtroom, and outside, throwing their unconscious bodies into a dumpster. A dump truck picked up the dumpster and dumped

the "trash" into it, as Orochimaru went back to the courtroom.

_Naruto's First witness: Hinata Hyuga, though one of Naruto's best friends, has a big crush on him, though he's too clueless to realize it. _

Naruto was facing Hinata, and said "You don't think I'm a Shemale, do you?" Hinata shook her head. "No way Naruto. You're too sexy to be a Shemale." "Aw thanks Hinata. You're sexy

too!" Hinata blushed, and fainted on top of Naruto. "Ack! Get her off me!" Naruto got up once the medical ninjas carried Hinata away, but got a chance to put his phone number in her

shoe.

Judge Sasuke groaned, with his right hand on his cheek. "So far 1 witness each, and both of them were complete idiots. Oh my god, they both have 1 more witness.

_Sakura's Second witness: Ebisu, a Jonin (high ninja rank for those who don't know) who was seduced once by Naruto's Harem Jutsu. He and Naruto seem to both hate and respect each other, both_

_ the hate part may work to Sakura's advantage._

"Master Ebisu, would you say Naruto acts like both a boy and a girl?" Ebisu nodded his head several times. "He's truly like both! He's rude and pranks people like an arrogant teenage

male! But his pervert Ninjutsu makes him act like a girl trying to get in bed with you!" "Eat this Ebisu perv!" Naruto shot a kunai at Ebisu, and it landed right above of Ebisu's nuts. Ebisu

then fainted, though Sakura did get her point through, but she hadn't won yet! Meanwhile, Sasuke muffled a laugh.

_Naruto's second witness: ???_

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, it doesn't say who the hell you're witness is." "That because he doesn't know how to write. I give you my witness, a hobo that watches the show with a television

set he found when he went to a dump!" George Bush walked in, wearing nothing but a wooden barrel. "I lost everything!" Bush sobbed with his head lying on his hands. Sasuke left his

stand, walked over to bush and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. It'll be okay." George Bush looked up at him. "Really?" Sasuke smiled. "No. Chidori!" Sasuke stabbed him in the

heart with a lightning blade and Bush dropped dead. Naruto meanwhile fell on his back laughing. Sasuke looked down at Naruto. "You only hired him for comedy didn't you?" Naruto got up

wiping tears from his eyes, and nodded. "Good job Naruto." Sasuke said shaking Naruto's hand.

_Now it's time for the final battle. Lawyer vs. Lawyer. Since Sakura is acting as her own lawyer its Sakura vs. Gaara!_

Sakura, however, protested. "Gaara is not a lawyer. He didn't do anything." Sasuke shook his head. "The battle is of words. Not fighting. This is when Gaara speaks." "Whatever you say

Sasuke-kun. I believe Naruto is a Shemale because of both his personalities in and out of those perverted transformation!" Gaara shook his head. "People of the court, and Kiba." "Hey!"

"Naruto is a male. How else would he know how to seduce another male? It's a jutsu where he tries to act like a pervy girl. Naruto is not a Shemale. Naruto is just deranged." Naruto tried

to protest, but just got sand in the mouth. "The jury's decision?" Sasuke asked. Tsunade stood up. "We people of the jury say Naruto is male and male only." Sasuke nodded and then

turned to Sakura. "Sakura, by the order of the court, and that it's really funny, you are hereby sentenced to go on a date with Choji." Choji runs in the court. Orochimaru handcuffs the two

of them, and Choji drags a sobbing Sakura away." Sasuke does his best to hold in a laugh, and then announces "The shows over people! Next time, is Gaara an emo? Probably." "Sand

tomb!" "Oh god! Security!"

_Don't forget to watch the next- oh hell there won't be another show. He's killing the crew. Get on with your lives while you still have it!_

**Burst: Yeahhhh, I'm not paying for the medical bills. I hope you enjoyed this Oneshot. Otherwise, I'll probably delete it. Whatever. See ya!**


End file.
